Gaslighting, What It Is & What You Can Do About It?
When something isn’t quite adding up in your relationship, you confront your partner and they tell you that you’re crazy, there’s a very good chance that they’re gaslighting you. Now, the term may be quite a new term to some, but it’s one that’s been around since the 1930s and the good news is that if it’s happening to you, then a good private investigator can help.
So, what exactly is gaslighting and what does it mean and where did it come from?
Well, the term comes from a 1938 Patrick Hamilton play during which a husband gradually turns down their home gas lighting, but denies that he’s doing it – preferring instead to convince his wife that she’s going crazy. The reason why it comes under the purview of a private detective agency is that it’s a form of psychological manipulation that’s morally ambiguous at best – and downright wrong at worst.
Gaslighting can take different forms too.
You might choose to call in a private investigator when your partner is either misusing or hiding funds and then claiming that the money was never there in the first place. Couples in Australia often have joint accounts and shared funds and if one partner is moving funds around and then saying that they’re not, this is financial gaslighting.
Typically stemming from some kind of infidelity – something else a private detective agency can assist with – emotional gaslighting is when a partner whose cheating actively denies that it’s happening – so it’s nothing new. It’s an effort by the offending party to diminish the other’s confidence and make them feel like they’re losing their mind.
The vast majority of cheaters do gaslight, but not all gaslighting is done by cheaters.
So, How Can You Tell If It’s Happening to You?
As we’ve mentioned already, you can call a private detective agency to help you uncover the truth, but you first need to recognize that it might be happening. So, what are the signs?
Here’s just a few:
- Countering – when your partner continually questions your recollection of events, saying things like “your memory’s awful” or “you’re remembering things wrong”. This might be an attempt to get you to distrust your own memory and believe their version of events.
- Invalidating – when your husband or wife trivialises your feelings, it could be that they’re trying to gaslight you. You’ll hear things like “you’re overreacting” or “you’re too sensitive!” when in truth, you’ve been quite reasonable.
- Diverting – another sign that you need the help of a professional private detective is when your partner continually deflects and diverts the conversation away from what you’re trying to speak with them about.
Don’t Stress – Call In the Professionals!
The important thing if you think gaslighting is happening to you is not to panic. Start keeping a record of things that have been said and take some corroborating pictures if you can. Then get in touch with a reputable private detective agency who’ll be able to give you a complete picture of what’s actually happening. It’s sometimes the only way to get a resolution in what can be a very stressful and emotional time.
If you’d like to know what else a private detective might be able to help you with, why not come and take a look at our website http://www.integralinvestigations.com.au where you’ll find that our services can be used to find missing people, uncover infidelity and much more besides. Alternatively, if you’d like to discuss your needs with us, simply call our friendly team on 02 9460 4988 today.
Just remember, if you think you’re being gaslit, there are things you can do, so don’t suffer in silence.